How to Remove the Fear and Dive Deep into Romance
Many of us turn to an intimate partner to share an emotional, physical, and romantic relationship at least at one stage of our life. Like many other advocates, I'm a preacher of building a friendship first before deep diving into romance, but sometimes, without warning, the heart tells you to jump and jump deep into the world of romance.
Sometimes we can fall so deep, and become so attached that we get lost into the connection. Suddenly, within the swirls of the love whirlpool, the incredible chemistry and the feeling of enjoying every minute of the relationship, we can suddenly and without warning be mentally met with insecurity and doubt. It's been a crazy adventure, but it is essential to learn the lesson taught by a particular relationship.
So, for those who are trying to dive deeply into the rapid waters of a whirlwind romance, here are few experiences I observed:
Go with The Flow
You are enthralled with the feeling of connection that one had only dreamt of, blissfully happy in the exploration of a new romance. Blindsided by the relentless thinking of socially conditioned to ask of 'where is this going' began to cultivate in uninvited. It's ok to aspire for the future, but you'll miss out on the journey if you are too destination-focused. When you're called to jump in the rapids of life's waters, go with the flow.
Closing your heart makes it impossible to create space for a new relationship. When you have the impulse to push away… it's typically because of the fear that something's either too good to be true (being loved) and the fear of losing it or something isn't resonating with you. Suppose it's the fear of losing something beautiful; lean in and keep going. Sometimes it's the gut feeling that you need some time to listen to what your intuition is trying to shed some light on.
Pushing Away Can Compromise a Relationship
When you close the door to the heart, you can't connect to yourself properly, let alone others. Pushing others away often provokes the other to do the same via default. Rejection breeds rejection and thus compromises a relationship.
Break Old Patterns
When it comes to diving deep into romance together, I've learned that there is a deep dive into the self that also occurs when diving into one another. Deep diving can often bring some issues to the surface that makes you realise you have to reconsider the facts, and chances are, you're not the only one.
You're able to see and feel more deeply in your relationship when you take time out to be, feel, breath deep and know that the things will be as they should as long as you stay centred and listen to your heart.
Trust Your Journey
Being in a relationship or looking for the perfect one itself is a journey, not a destination. It's a journey that yields different feelings, experiences and revelations. Sometimes a walk in the park while holding hands with the sun on your back, while other times a coffee date on a cold winter night as you venture into the shadows just like the cycles of life seasons.
Do Not Crave Perfection; Look for Grace
As I mentioned earlier, deep-diving into romance is a chance to learn about your areas of weakness and a chance to see where you can outshine. The exploration of the heart often leads to some great pearls of wisdom.
I've learned that perception to be perfect is just a perception. Sometimes a person is accurate and other times, how you perceive others isn't even close to the benchmark, which is why it's so important to be vulnerable and open with one another.
This Likely Isn't the peak of Your Relationship
Although nothing lasts forever, things can beautifully evolve into something new if you're willing to let go and enjoy the natural course of your relationship. Remember that this may not be the peak of your relationship, and chances are, something more exciting and worthwhile has yet to come.
I realise that building a relationship and loving deeply is all about how deeply you love and connect to yourself. Maybe in the past, you have never thoroughly enjoyed the treasures of intimacy, and it's because you are finally in a place in life where you truly feel deep love and diving deep into romance. Give yourself permission to feel incredible, to be nurtured, to be loved, honoured and respected. And view the reflection as blissful moments of intimacy and romance.