The Authentic Self: To Thy Own Self Be True
“To my daughter I will say, learn to see yourself without a mirror or a compliment”
Showing Up As Who You Are
Today we will journey to improve and develop our sense of self confidence. As we progress through the month, we will explore topics such as radical self-care, trusting our intuition, setting healthy boundaries, knowing our values inside and out and loving our bodies.
Today we are talk about the fundamental, first step on the journey towards developing a strong sense of self-confidence; being brave enough and developing the ability to show up as who we are.
Often we look outside of ourselves for validation, praise, reassurance and approval. Often we want to be liked and there is nothing wrong with that, but when we consistently and exhaustively look outside of ourselves for feedback of how we are doing and adapting ourselves, our behaviours, suppressing our beliefs and our view points to fit in with our social surroundings, we no longer show up as ourselves nor honour who we are, why we are here and what is true to us.
How can we be confident in who we are if we are not being who we are?
Beginning on the journey to being our most authentic selves is a scary place, but it is so important and the joy that will come once on this path cannot be shaken or matched.
Once you begin this journey, it is likely that the environment around you will change, the people around you will change, some people will leave and new people will be drawn like a magnet to your soul. What will develop and unfold around you is a reflection of your most authentic self.
Where to Start?
If you are completely new to the concept of showing up as your true self, we suggest that you begin with contemplating who it is that you are and this is no small question. It is a question we can ask ourselves throughout the years, maybe even until our last day. So how do we begin to answer such a question?
We can begin by asking ourselves questions such as: what do I like? When do I feel most at peace? What do I believe in? What don’t I like? What do I enjoy doing? What are my talents? What makes me feel good? Who am I around when I feel most comfortable? Where am I celebrated? Who am I without all of these things and when I am still?
We suggest you write all of the ideas that come to your head down. It is from these answers that our core self begins to come clearer and we can begin to identify our values. Values are in essence, personal principles that shape our standards of behaviour. They are our judgement of what is important in life. Values can include; being faithful, equality, fairness, health, kindness and thousands more.
Living Your Values
Knowing our values is invaluable because it is from this point you can make decisions that reflect your values. Decision making becomes much, much easier, once you know your values. For example, if you have a value of faithfulness, then the way you show up and your behaviours will reflect this value. Consistently showing up in the world as your values, shows the world who you are. Your boundaries will not be pushed, because they are clear and you become clear of what you tolerate and what you do not.
If you don’t know your values, then everything can be compromised and you become at higher risk of being easily influenced and moulded to how another person wants for you to show up. What you teach the world is "I don’t necessarily like who I am or know who I am so I can adapt to however you want to configure me for your needs “
Instead be you, that is after all your superpower!
Hold your values close, be consistent and let your behaviours consistently reflect your values.